I Give Up!


I Give Up!

Two weeks ago, I was about to give it all up. Stop doing what I do and that keeps me going. Stop doing what people who follow me for to give them hope. Had I finally reached a point where I was no longer able to do it? Was my body done with giving all that it could and that I took for granted?

I was at a low point. I've been low before but this was about as low as I could go. The Wife was kicking butt with her run times. I was going backwards. Each week was slower until two weeks ago I was doing 19 minute miles. During my supposed to be 16-mile training run, I got to the point where I kept pushing, but for what? The Wife and middle child were coming home from church while I was out, they slowed down and said, "Hi!" I very unenthusiastically gave a wave, which The Wife thought was a brush off. They drove on home. It had already been decided that I was going to gut out 12 miles and there were only 2.5 left at that point. Plodding would not even describe what I was doing.

"How could I do the Richmond Marathon in November at this rate?" The answer...I wouldn't be able to!

I stopped at a drug store and grabbed a bottle of water and a Coke Zero Cherry. The Wife asked what I was going to do next? I said that I was going to finish the walk home.

Oh, did I mention that it was about 90 degrees with about 70% humidity?!?! I didn't? Oh, oops! That may be an important piece of information.

Move ahead to this past Saturday (Oct. 5). We knew the temperature was going to be cooler and not much humidity. I tried to stay upbeat and told The Wife that we were going to run well.

Guess what? We did run well! It was my best run in months! 12 miles of non-stop movement. Well, except to visit the bathroom at the park at 8 miles. When you gotta go, you gotta go! It's the fact! LOL Actually, this was a good sign, because it meant I was well hydrated. For this Salt Wasting Adrenal Insufficient Warrior that means everything! (All of you parents of and fellow warriors with Salt-Wasting AI, you will understand the importance of this fact.)

What did I realize yesterday? I cannot do everything like a non-SW AI person. No amount of updosing with Hydrocortisone every 45 minutes (my standard practice on long runs) or drinking INFINIT, my electrolyte replacing fluid, will compensate when my body just can't keep up with what is going on. The Wife was even struggling in the heat. She was able to keep going and manage. I on the other hand could not. My body has limits that a normal cortisol producing person does not!

Do I like admitting this? If you know me, I hate admitting that. For the past 5+ years, I have not found much that can break me down.

The heat this summer broke me. I need to take care of me!

Where does this leave me? I have about a month before the Richmond Marathon. It will take a LOT of work to get ready for it, but I know now that I can do it! I may not run faster than my first marathon, Marine Corps Marathon. I am fine with that. Disappointed, but fine.

Why am I fine with that? In April of next year, 2020, I have been accepted to run for St. John Ambulance at the London Marathon! YES, the London that is in England, Great Britain! More on that in my next blog post.

I think I am excited again. It's been a while since I have said that word.

Thank you to everyone who supports me with encouragement and kind words. Those mean so much to me. More than you will ever know. Sometimes, it seems like I am not sure that I am doing anything for anyone, but than out of the blue comes a kind word from someone or some parent who is Warrioring on!

Thank you!

If you would like to help me get to London, here is a link: bit.ly/LondonMarathonIsCalling

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