The moment I gained control of my life juggling

"I was wondering how long you could keep juggling all those balls." - Merrill

Part 1 of 2...

That sentence was spoken by my wife, Merrill, earlier this week. She said this after we had a conversation...ok to be honest, after I spoke and she listened...about all the things I am doing now and in the future.

I made the decision to lay down some of those balls that I am juggling. This doesn't mean they are disappearing. They weren't dropped balls. Instead, by laying them down I am keeping them around and have the option to revisit picking them back up. If they had been dropped it would've meant that there had been a problem. It is ALL quite the opposite. Everything is good.

This has been a week of looking out for myself, my family and the things that are important to me.

I guess first and foremost is that I am looking out for my health, both physical and mental. If I didn't look out for those two things everything else wouldn't happen. In the last year I went through a funk and didn't want to really train or do much physical. What did this cause?

1. Weight Gain - I believe in the past year and a little bit more, I have put back on around 15-20 pounds that I had lost two years ago. Two years ago, I had worked really hard to lose the weight I had on my body. I gained back some while training for Marine Corps Marathon, but I felt (and was) healthy. Now, I can't button the top button on my dress shirts. I am beginning to get what Merrill calls a Dunlop. My belly "dun lop" over the top of my pants. If you don't get that, it's ok. Basically, my belly is getting big and starting to go over the top of my pants. I am not there yet, but it is getting close. I need to get this under control and now is the time!

That belly is way too big!

2. Mental Health - I have clinical depression. As so many people point out, there is a shaming aspect in having any kind of mental illness. This is not how it should be. I own it and it is part of who I am. I believe my lack of physical exercise did not allow me an outlet to work off any feeling I had. It didn't allow me to get my body and everything about it pushed to the limit, so that when I was done I had that feeling of joy, happiness and accomplishment. I want that feeling again. This won't take the depression away, but it will be tempered by the hard work.

This was a good mental moment!

3. Being with Merrill while training. While we have both gone our own ways with our training and events, we have also dropped the opportunities that we have to run together. While we don't run at the same pace, we do run at the same time. That way, afterwards we can talk about what we have done. Merrill and I have started fixing that by doing several races together this fall. It has been fun and we both have commented how much we enjoy it.

Being together is the best!

So, where does this leave everything...I am happy and at peace with my decisions. They weren't done easily.

In a few days, I will write Part 2 about what I will keep doing. Here are two hints:

Every CAH patient's lifesaver,
Solu-Cortef Act-O-Vial and syringe!

I will continue creating awareness and advocate for those of us who have the rare genetic disease Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH).

I will continue being an Ambassador for raising awareness and funds for the Children's Hospital Los Angeles CAH Clinic. I will continue training for an IRONMAN 70.3 for this cause.

These two things and maybe a couple others will be the balls that I will successfully juggle!

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